My father spoke much good advice to me, but he demonstrated even more. What impacted me most happened one holiday season when I was a boy. My father, who worked as a loan supervisor for a federal agency, always emphasized the importance of integrity and following the rules. It was against the regulations for him to accept gifts of any kind, even if they were given in sincere appreciation. Loan approvals had to be made fairly and without any expectation of reward from the borrower.
One day, as I returned home from school, I noticed a giant gift basket of fruit, candy, and other goodies beautifully wrapped and sitting on the porch of our home. Curiosity got the better of me, and I was tempted to open it and grab a treat. However, before I could act on my impulse, my dad emerged from the house.
“Don’t,” he said firmly, his voice carrying a mix of appreciation and regret. “It’s a gift, and as much as I appreciate the gesture, I can’t take it. I’m sending it back.”
In that moment, I witnessed my father living with unwavering integrity. He showed me that even when faced with a well-intentioned gesture, he chose to adhere to the rules and do what was right. It was a profound lesson that has stayed with me throughout my life.
The incident taught me several valuable lessons, which I would like to share:
The Power of Integrity: My father’s decision to return the gift basket highlighted the importance of integrity in our actions. I define integrity as the distance between your lips and your life, the difference between what you say you believe and how you actually behave. It is a quality that builds trust and earns respect from others. Witnessing my father’s commitment to integrity made a lasting impression on me and has guided my own actions ever since.
Upholding Professional Standards: As a loan supervisor, my father was responsible for making fair and unbiased decisions. By refusing the gift basket, he demonstrated his dedication to upholding the professional standards of his position. It taught me that in any role or profession, it is crucial to follow the established guidelines and act in a manner that maintains the integrity of the work we do. This lesson has helped me navigate various professional settings, ensuring that I always prioritize fairness and ethics.
Leading by Example: Edgar Guest in his poem Sermons wrote these lines:
I’d rather see a sermon than hear one any day;
I’d rather one should walk with me than merely tell the way.
The eye’s a better pupil and more willing than the ear,
Fine counsel is confusing, but example’s always clear.
Actions often speak louder than words, and my father’s actions that day spoke volumes. He didn’t just tell me about the importance of integrity; he showed it to me through his own behavior. As a parent, mentor, or leader, it is essential to lead by example and demonstrate the values and principles we believe in. People are more likely to be influenced and inspired by what they see rather than what they hear. My father’s unwavering commitment to integrity has shaped my own approach to leadership and taught me the impact of setting a positive example for others.
The Courage to Make Difficult Choices: I doubt that returning the gift basket was an easy decision for my father. It required him to forgo a gesture of appreciation, potentially disappoint the giver and deprive his family of treats. But my respect for him grew because he chose to prioritize his professional obligations and the ethics he committed to follow. This taught me the importance of having the courage to make difficult choices, even when they may be unpopular or challenging. It is through such choices that we grow and develop our character, ultimately shaping the course of our lives.
My father’s actions that day left a profound impact on me. By choosing to return the gift basket, he taught me invaluable lessons about integrity, professional standards, leading by example, and the courage to make difficult choices. These lessons have become the guiding principles in my own life, shaping my character and influencing my decisions.
Our actions every day impact others for good or for evil, for better or for worse. It is a narrow perspective to believe what you do affects only you. Others are watching—your spouse, your childen, coworkers and clients and even strangers—and often without even knowing it, you add to or take away from the quality of their lives through your action.
Ultimately, we are accountable to God, to family, to friends and to others. Choose to live intentionally. Choose to live with integrity.
