Larry Winget is a best-selling author, TV personality and long time friend. We’ve collaborated on several books and projects like A Year of Success and A Year of Business Success. He brings a unique and unvarnished perspective to work and life. As I said in my endorsement of his latest book, Grow a Pair, he practices a kind of tough love by telling you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.
It is Time to Grow a Pair
People deliver bad service and we take it. We allow friends to say hurtful things to us, without speaking up in our own defense. We let our government – people we elect and whose salaries we pay – take advantage of us instead of fighting back by voting them out. We sit in theaters and let people text, take and make phone calls, and talk loudly to each other like they are sitting in their own living room and most of us never tell them to shut up. We watch people throw trash in the street and never say a word to them.
Businesses seem to be run by bad employees with poor work habits and lousy attitude because their manager doesn’t have the guts to discipline them or fire their lay butts.
Sadly, most people don’t speak up even when witnessing a crime because they just can’t be bother, don’t want to make waves, or because they are afraid.
This behavior must stop! We all need to learn to act with assertiveness, speak up for ourselves, take a stand, and refuse to accept less than the best from others or from ourselves. In other words, we all need to grow a pair!
Growing a pair is a state of mind, an attitude, and a way of thinking. It’s about giving up being a victim and taking control of your life at every level. It is the willingness to do the right thing even when everyone else is doing the wrong thing. It has its roots in personal responsibility, accountability, confidence, and integrity. It’s about establishing a standard by which you will live your life. It’s about knowing your values, and becoming uncompromising in your willingness to do whatever it takes to stand up for them.
So how do you grow a pair? Here are five things you can do to stop being a victim and take control of your life:
- Don’t whine. Whining never fixes a problem, it will only prolong the problem. Stop blaming. Stop whining. Get moving!
- Become self-reliant. No one is coming to the rescue and no one should. You made the mess and it’s up to you to clean it up. Do what it takes in every area of your life to be in control of your situation.
- Don’t allow people to take advantage of you. People treat you the way you allow them to treat you. Stand up for yourself and never let anyone belittle you or disrespect you.
- Have clear priorities. Your time, your energy and your money always go to what is important to you. When you are clear on your priorities, everything else will fall into place.
- Don’t compromise your principles. Know what you believe and why you believe it and never compromise those beliefs and principles for any person, group, or reason. Principles are not situational, they are lines drawn in the concrete and are a direct reflection of your integrity.
What will be result of growing a pair? You might be called names and told that you are mean, or un-compromising, or arrogant. Sadly, people with a pair are always going to be misunderstood by those who don’t have a pair. The important thing is that you can be proud of yourself for standing up for yourself. So forget what others say and know you are operating from a place of courage, principle and integrity. When you do that, it will result in more success, better service, higher quality relationships, more clarity and confidence and dignity. What could possibly be better than that?